Ellen’s Laughter’s Weblog

“Writing of the past is a resurrection; the past then lives in your words and you are free.” -Jessamyn West

Making Bread

Posted by EllensLaughter on October 25, 2008

It had been a long day.  A really, really long day.  She tiredly hung her fashion-forward purse on its hook and shrugged out of her worn jean jacket – the only in-between outerwear she owned – and, with a wrinkle of her nose (the only acknowledgment that the jacket was the antithesis of fashion-forward) hung it over the purse.

“No, that’s wrong,” she said aloud.  She removed the jacket with one hand and the purse with the other, then put the jacket on the hook and put the purse over it.  “Much better.”

She kicked off her fuschia, pointy-toed Carlos Santana shoes and left them on the floor beside her swirly pink Crocs, then padded through the living room into the kitchen, stomach grumbling indignantly.  She switched the overhead light on and made a beeline for the refrigerator.

“Toast.  Toast would be good.  With peanut butter.”  She’d spoken aloud again.  This was not uncommon in her single existence.  She talked to her voice mail and sometimes even her e-mail; a step above talking to herself, in her opinion.

She grabbed the half-loaf of bread in its Ziploc storage bag and let the refrigerator door close itself as she broke the zipped seal and placed the bread on the cutting board.  The bread knife, always at the ready, was quickly in her right hand and, as she secured the bread with her left hand, she began to cut a slice.

“Shit!  Crap!!  Oh, man!!”  She didn’t see the mold until the knife was halfway through the loaf.  How she’d missed the plethora of green-gray growth, she wasn’t sure.  “Damn!  That totally sucks!” she complained as she transferred the loaf from the board to the trash can and slammed the lid shut for emphasis.  “Now what?”

She went back to the fridge and perused its unappetizing contents.  Her brain and stomach were stuck toast with peanut butter.  “Oh, fine.”  She went to the sink and briskly washed her hands, noting silently (she didn’t always talk to herself) that she hadn’t washed her hands before handling the moldy bread and laughed humorlessly at the irony. 

She let the water run hot for a moment as she retrieved the two-cup measure, then filled it with one and one-quarter cup hot water.  Working quickly, she pulled out a plastic mixing bowl and poured the water into it, then grabbed a packet of yeast from the pantry shelf and carefully ripped it open before shaking it into the water and whisking it briskly.  From her utensil drawer she pulled a couple measuring spoons.  She added one tablespoon of sugar and two teaspoons of salt to the mixture, then a tablespoon of vegetable oil and a quarter teaspoon of her secret ingredient.  These were whisked as well, then she used her measuring cup to measure one-half cup milk (one percent, organic) and whisked that in, too.

“Now the fun part,” she said without a trace of sarcasm.  She used both hands to transfer her clear glass flour canister to the work island and removed the lid then, using the one-half cup measure that resided within, began adding flour.  The first cup was whisked into the liquid, then the whisk was set in the sink and replaced with a shallow silicone spoon.  The second cup was stirred in, then the spoon was set in the sink.  The third cup was kneaded in with her hands, as was the next half-cup or so until she had reached the consistency she preferred. 

“You’re perfect,” she told the dough after giving it one last push.  She washed her hands and then reached into the cabinet to pull out the mixing bowl’s cover, which she placed on top of the bowl without sealing it.  She used her oven’s timer to remind her when an hour had passed, and left the kitchen after shutting off the overhead.

Switching on a table lamp in the living room, she made her way upstairs to her bedroom and stretched gracefully – and gratefully – as she changed into her super-soft thermal PJs, then slipped into a thick pair of socks and padded into the bathroom.  She allowed herself to appreciate the necessary ritual of removing her make-up and rubbing moisturizer on her dry (and dry) face and neck, made use of her toilet, washed her hands yet again (skipped the moisturizer this time), and padded into her home office.

Her computer was already running, so it was a simple matter to switch on the LCD monitor and click to open her e-mail.  She methodically deleted the messages she didn’t deem important first, then proceeded to read the assortment of motivational e-mails, some of which were then deleted while others were filed for future motivation.  Finally she attended to the meager bunch of “real” (i.e. personal) e-mails and responded as needed before deleting or filing them.

“Done!”  Pleased to be done with that necessary chore, she closed the e-mail application and hit the switch on the monitor, then stood and stretched before heading down to the kitchen and switching the overhead on again.  “Three minutes!”

She grabbed a glass bread pan out of the drainer and massaged shortening onto its interior.  “Oh!”  The timer going off startled her and she chuckled at herself as she turned off the timer and lifted the lid from the mixing bowl.  “Beautiful,” she murmured to the much larger mound of dough, breathing in the already yummy, yeasty scent.  She used her right hand to knead the dough down for several minutes before transferring it to the waiting bread pan.  Using a silicone brush, she basted the top with butter, then ripped off a piece of plastic wrap and draped it loosely atop the dough-filled pan, setting it on the stove top.

Turning the oven to three hundred seventy-five degrees, she reset the timer for thirty minutes and went about the business of cleaning up the mixing bowl, measuring cup, spoons, whisk, and bread knife, and wiped down the bread board with a damp paper towel.  She emptied the grounds from her coffee maker and cleaned the carafe, readying them for the next morning.  Finally, she pulled out the broom and dustpan and cleaned up the flour that had strayed from the bowl, emptying the dustpan into the trash can before putting it away with the broom.

“Beeeeeeep!”  Once again the timer’s shriek startled her.  She turned her attention to the pan of dough, which had increased in size just as it should.  Removing the piece of plastic wrap and tossing it into the trash can, she opened the now-hot oven with one hand and placed the bread pan inside with the other, closing the oven door firmly after it.  She set the timer yet again, this time for thirty-five minutes, then turned off the overhead and settled into her favorite chair in the living room with a contented sigh.

Picking up the remote, she turned the TV on and automatically hit the My DVR button to review the list of available recordings.  The View with its Hot Topics beckoned, and so she selected it to play and was quickly immersed in the savvy discussion of the five hosts, laughing out loud at some of their caustic commentary.  One of Whoopi’s statements reminded her of the idea to use Whoopi as her write-in candidate for president. 

Before she knew it, the timer was sounding again.  She hit the pause button and went into the kitchen, reaching for her oven mitts.  Timer off.  Oven off.  Oven door open.  “Oh, my …”  The smell of the bread combined with the dry heat of the oven was a sinful combination.

Oven door closed.  Bread turned out onto the bread board and placed upside-right.  She removed the oven mitts and grabbed the silicone brush again to re-baste the perfectly brown, crusty top with butter.  It melted into the loaf and disappeared.  She breathed in deeply again and her mouth watered.  “Leave it,” she coached herself.  The bread needed to cool a bit before she cut into it, so she forced herself to return to the living room and finish watching her program, then watched another recorded program until she couldn’t wait any longer.

“Yes,” she breathed as she cut into the still-warm loaf, beholding the lighter perfection of the bread’s interior.  “Toaster-shmoaster,” she asserted, making the decision to forego that process as she grabbed the jar of peanut butter, a table knife and a plate.  Two slices of bread – a butt and one interior – were placed onto the plate and treated to a generous spreading of peanut butter, which immediately became a beautifully molten mess.  She poured herself a glass of milk and returned to the living room, setting the plate and glass on the side table as she settled into the chair.

She reached for the plate with purposeful slowness and lifted the first slice of bread to her lips.  She took a healthy bite and moaned in delight at the satisfying texture of the fresh bread as the salty-sweet peanut butter exploded on her tastebuds.  “Thank you!” she told herself with appreciation, reaching for the remote.

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Commitment

Posted by EllensLaughter on October 24, 2008

Oh, that dreaded C-word.  Commitment.  Why do I consider it, more often than not, a negative?  Commitment indicates a belief and trust in something and/or someone – hopefully starting with myself.  But I am realizing that making a commitment to myself is the hardest commitment to make.

Why?   I know enough to know that being committed to myself will only serve to help the many facets of my life.  I know enough to know that being committed to myself – being in love with myself – will lead me to fulfill my dreams; to fulfill myself.  So, why is it so hard when there would be such an obvious and good kick-back?

I know I was brought up as a people-pleaser; a people-server.  Most of my age group was brought up that way, in fact …  However, I’ve learned over the past several years that the people-pleasing mentality can be hurtful and even harmful, because it effectively removes the focus from taking care of – being committed to!  loving! - myself.  That’s not good.  And, again, I know that; I’ve learned that the hard way.  Yet I persist.

Back in August, I made a commitment to myself in front of a group of people, in a very formal and ritualistic way.  I have not lived up to that commitment.  Is that grounds for divorce from myself?  To some people it would be, because in effect I have cheated on myself time and time again with little to no regard or regret for my actions.  That’s not good.  In fact, that really sucks.

So, here I am reconsidering my self-commitment, reflecting on my lack of self-love and self-care, and asking myself, “Why?”  “Why don’t you take care of yourself?”  “Why don’t you eat better?”  “Why don’t you exercise?”  “Why don’t you do what’s best for you?”  “Why don’t you put yourself first?”  “Why are you killing yourself in small doses?”  Yeah.  Ouch.  That’s what it comes down to.  I’m slowly killing myself, even after I promised my counselor 5 years ago that I would not kill myself.  I’ve skewed that promise for my convenience, because what she meant was, “Don’t swallow a bottle of pills/slit your wrists/slam your car into a tree.” 

The truth is, I’m not engaged in my own life.  I’m not participating in it.  I’m on auto-pilot, in this bizarre limbo that has me anaesthetized.  So, what’s there to be committed to?  What’s there to care about?

And that brings me to the other burning questions:  How do I turn this around?  How do I change this behavior?  How do I start caring?  How do I really, really become – and stay - engaged in and committed to this life I have been gifted with?

I don’t know.  And it’s actually not that I don’t care, I’m discovering, it’s that I’m truly at a loss in this floundering space I’m in.  I need to snap out of it.  I need to wake up from this coma of uncertainty and fear and start living before it’s too late; before life passes me by more than it already has … more than I’ve already allowed it to.  I need to make an active commitment, take responsibility, and take action.  All in one fell swoop, do or die, because that’s where I’m at.  Do or die.  Do or die?  Do?  Die?  Do.  Do!  DO!!!

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Ch-ch-ch-change

Posted by EllensLaughter on October 12, 2008

Somewhere along the way, change became an accepted aspect of this life I’m living.  Somewhere along the way, I dropped the “I dread change” mantra and adopted the “change is good” mantra in its place.  Yet, along the way, there are some changes I wish hadn’t taken place and I know that’s because I don’t understand (e.g. haven’t fully accepted) the reasons behind and for them.

The changes I revel in are:

  • my change of living conditions, which took place just over a year ago,
  • my new-found understanding of how the powerful energy we are all made of and have at our disposal works
  • my growing appreciation for the relationships that I thrive on
  • growing into each passing year

The changes I remain fearful of are:

  • the necessity of a new career and all that goes with that
  • the ebb and flow of long-standing relationships
  • the aging of my parents, siblings and friends (its okay for me to age, but not for them to!)

The career piece is such a double-edged sword!  I must earn an income and therefore must have a career … but what is it to be?  I am all over the place with the possibilities that exist and the skills I possess.  Having been officially out of work for 4 1/2 months, I can honestly say that I still don’t have a clue what I really want to do.  I half-heartedly apply for jobs that I’m suited for and which would put me back behind a desk.  I’m enjoying filling in at my friend’s store and the opportunities it affords me to get get out of my house, do my hair and make-up and wear pretty clothes.  What do I want to do, really?  Write.  Bake.  Sew.  Earn a living doing what I love and have a passion for.  And why am I fearful of that?  The risk and uncertainty and potential hardships and maybe even sacrifices that come along with forging that path.

As far as the relationship piece, it is a fact of life that as we age and grow, we change.  It stands to reason that our relationships will grow and change, too.  But I don’t like it when the growth leads to changes I perceive as uncomfortable (okay, not of my choosing!); when the warmth of the relationships ebb and the flow is different – changed; when I don’t understand why it must be that way, because surely there is a good reason for it.  People I used to talk to and/or e-mail every day don’t call or write and/or don’t respond to my calls and e-mails, which leads me to reflect that new behavior to protect myself from hurt, yet perhaps instigates further change.  Another double-edged sword.

I saw my Dad last week.  He was visiting from New York and I hadn’t seen him since January.  There was comfort in the familiarity of his features and the warmth of his hug, but in those there was also the hint of his advancing age; there were more lines and there was a slight sense of frailty when I hugged him that made me not want to let go, for fear I wouldn’t have that opportunity again.  I see it in my Dad, but I am denial about my Mom aging.  Maybe it’s because I see her frequently and talk to her even more frequently.  And there’s the fact that she lives 20 minutes down the road while Dad is 4 hours away in another state. 

When I force myself to think about that inevitable future change of my parents passing on, it is very nearly unbearable.  In my finer moments, it has occurred to me that I can use that emotion on stage; in my weaker moments, I am reduced to a quivering mass of flesh and emotion.  So why, on the rare occasion, do I go there?  Self-preparation.  A need to make certain that I can go on without them in my life, as terrifying as that thought is.

I’m in even more denial when it comes to my siblings and friends.  The only vision I can envision is a long, long lifetime remaining with them.  There is not one of them I feel I can do without and so I am supremely stubborn in my denial of any of them moving on … especially after losing one dear friend late last year.

So, to change in general – change that is specific to me and only me and doesn’t affect anyone else – bring it on!  I have learned to deal with it with relative grace and know to ask for help if I need it.  But to the type of change that takes the snowglobe that is my life and turns it upside down with its shaking, and in the process shakes up others’ lives … less is more; less is way more.

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When I Grow Up

Posted by EllensLaughter on July 20, 2008

“When I grow up, I want to be a librarian!”

“When I grow up, I want to be a teacher!”

“When I grow up, I want to be Miss America!”

“When I grow up, I want to be just like Nancy Drew!  I want to be smart and brave and pretty and have Parker Stevenson be in love with me!”

“When I grow up, I want to be a writer like Carolyn Keene and Laura Ingalls Wilder and L.M. Montgomery and (shhh!  don’t tell my mother!) Judith Krantz and Harold Robbins!”

“When I grow up, I want to be famous and have tons of money and tons of friends and tons of people jealous of (or just notice) me!”

“When I grow up, I want to be a famous writer like Danielle Steel and Johanna Lindsey and Valerie Sherwood!”

“When I grow up, I want to be a wife and a mother and live in a big house with my husband and ten children!”

“When I grow up, I want to have a house in New Hampshire, a house in Florida, a penthouse in New York City, a luxury flat in London and a villa in Italy!”

“When I grow up, I want to be a famous writer like Jude Deveraux and LaVyrle Spencer!”

“When I grow up …”  Oh.  Hello.  I didn’t see you there.  Did you hear all that?  Did you see all that?  Did you feel all that?  My excited, hopeful, shining, star-struck, determined, and maybe even challenging, I-dare-you-to-tell-me-I-can’t expression on a face attached to a head and body practically quivering with passionate, near-panicked energy; energy so intense that upon unclenching my fists and relaxing my face I almost feel exhausted.

I don’t often start any future-thinking sentence with “when I grow up” anymore, because I am grown up.  At least, I think I am.  Well, I’m supposed to be at any rate!  So, in reviewing the wishful-hopeful wants of my younger self:

I am not a librarian, but I love books and one of my life goals is to build a new, state-of-the-art yet back-in-the-day-feeling library for my town.

I am a teacher!

I consider myself smart, I suppose I have been brave on occasion, I can sometimes be called pretty, but Parker Stevenson is just not happening.

I never was and never will be Miss America, but I treasure the memory of the Christmas that I received the whole Miss America costume kit (evening gown, sash and tiara)!  I wore it and practiced smiling and waving (elbow-elbow-wrist-wrist-wrist) as I walked regally down the stairs.

I am a writer, but not in the style of Carolyn or Laura or L.M. or (it’s okay if my mother knows this) Judith or Harold.

I’m not famous and I don’t have tons of money; I do have tons of friends; people have been jealous of me (I only know this because they told me; still can’t figure out why!); people have noticed me for both the “right” and the “wrong” reasons.

I’m not a famous writer – at least not yet.  But I don’t want to be compared to Danielle Steel, or even Johanna Lindsey, Valerie Sherwood, Jude Deveraux and LaVyrle Spencer (all of whom I admire); I want my writing merits to be my own, thank you very much!

I’m not certain about the husband piece anymore … almost been there; almost done that … I know for certain, however, that I do NOT want 10 children!!!  I mean, OH MY GOD, right????  What was I thinking????

I STILL want to have my own house in New Hampshire and in Florida, a penthouse (with a roof garden, please!) in New York City, a luxury flat in London (with a garden as well, please!), and a villa in Italy (with a fully stocked wine cellar and plenty of guest bedrooms for my tons of friends).  My vision board reflects the house in New Hampshire, which will be a beautiful, sunny cottage surrounded by oodles of gorgeous, brilliantly-colored flowers and will feature a big, four-season sun porch and plenty of room for entertaining!

And even though I don’t use the phrase “when I grow up” to start a sentence anymore, I still love to feel it when I consider the vision of my future – and my present! - because I’ve learned that all that uncomfortably delicious energy can make things happen!  But if I did use “when I grow up” to start a sentence, it would look like this:

When I grow up, I want to love and be loved unconditionally and I want my friends and family to love and be loved unconditionally.  That’s all it would take to set everything else into motion and complete the amazing jigsaw puzzle that is our perfectly connected lives.

So, come on.  Stand up.  I mean it!  Stand up!  I’ll wait …  Thank you!  Good job!!  Now, repeat after me: “When I grow up …”  Doesn’t that feel awesome???

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Weighty Subject

Posted by EllensLaughter on July 19, 2008

  Hi.  My name is Ellen and I’m …  Hold on.  Deep breath.  Try again.  Hi.  My name is Ellen and I’m obese.  There!  I’ve said it!  Not just overweight.  Not just chunky.  Not just fat.  Obese.  Morbidly obese, even.  God, what a horrible word: “obese!”  What a horrible phrase: “morbidly obese!”

  FYI, according to the American Heritage Dictionary, the definition of obese, which is an adjective, is, “Extremely fat; grossly overweight;” the definition of morbid, an adjective from which the adverb morbidly is derived, is, “Of, relating to or caused by disease; psychologically unhealthy or unwholesome; gruesome.”  Okay, so let’s put all that together, shall we?  Morbidly obese = psychological impairment resulting in gruesome overweightness (I know it’s not a word).  Right?  Yeah, right.

  I’ve gotten so good at not really seeing me, even when I study myself in the mirror, that it is shocking when I DO see myself clearly.  Passable face.  Changeable, green-to-hazel eyes.  Pale skin peppered with freckles and evidence of sun damage.  Small, nicely-shaped ears.  Hair currently highlighted, permed, and growing out.  Teeth that need a LOT of work, if not replacing (one of my goals is to get porcelain veneers, if possible!).  Pear-shaped body sitting atop thick thighs, sitting atop thick calves, sitting atop sometimes downright skinny ankles, sitting atop smallish feet which somehow manage to hold everything up.  Decent-sized breasts which, untamed by a supportive bra, are gravitationally challenged.  Small hands at the end of leg o’ mutton arms.

  I haven’t been able to buy clothes off the rack in years.  I shop online at places like Roamans and Catherines, which feature “extended sizes” that actually fit my frame.  And I will make things for myself, using my similarly-sized dress form to help be certain what I construct will actually fit.  I use my tape measure, too, but shudder at the numbers.

  So, the obvious question is, why don’t I “just lose weight?”  Well, I have!  Lost it and gained it back, plus additional pounds, over and over again.  Too many times to count.  Slim-Fast, Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach and Curves.  Most recently, I retained a truly amazing whole health counselor (Ellen Lalicata of The Spirit Garden – www.thespiritgarden.net) who, over the course of 14 months, succeeded in turning my head around big-time in regards to how I came to be <gulp> obese.  Even with all that support and knowledge, I’ve been putting on weight again and I know it’s through choices I’m making and signals I’m ignoring.  I have the knowledge and I know my body’s signals (originally I mistyped and had “bodies” in place of “body’s” – an interesting mistake, since my weight could easily be used to construct two people).  I’m very intuitive, I’m always stopping to check in with where I’m at emotionally, and yet … I’m obese and I’m truly not doing a damn thing about it.

  “Maybe you’re happy this way.”  Huh??  Maybe I’m happy being the one trudging behind, trying not to let on how winded I am from a walk that for most people is a breeze?  Maybe I’m happy pretending I don’t know how strangers on the street, in the grocery store, etc., look at me and – come on, admit it! – judge me?  Maybe I’m happy avoiding certain situations and venues when I’m not certain I’ll be able to fit my substantial hips into a seat?  Maybe I’m happy knowing that I’d be the person required to purchase two plane tickets for my one body and ask for a seat belt extender?  Ummm … No.  No, I’m not happy this way.

  “You must have a good body image.”  Again:  Huh??  A “good body image?”  Are you on crack???

  Last night, at my youngest brother’s birthday party at my parents’ house, we were all sitting briefly down in the air-conditioned comfort of the living room.  A discussion about Archie Bunker’s truly funny bigotry led to Sally Struthers, which led to one of my sisters-in-law mentioning she’d heard from someone that Ms. Struthers (in her own substantial glory) frequented a restaurant in York, near Ogunquit Playhouse (at which she does summer theater; just finished playing Golde in Fiddler on the Roof ) and was rumored to be on the eyebrow-raising side of soused.  After the chorus of semi-interested “reallies” had passed, my sister-in-law (who is overweight, NOT obese) went on to say how offensive it was to her that Ms. Struthers, at her size, was the spokesperson (at least in the past) for an organization that sponsored hungry children.

  Without any defensiveness (seriously!), I responded, “Why is that offensive?  She’s a representative.”

  And the sister-in-law’s response was, “Because she’s huge and they’re starving.”

  I asked my question a different way:  “Why does it matter?  What does that have to do with it?”

  “I don’t know,” she replied with a blank face and a shrug of her shoulders.  “It’s just always bothered me.”

  Oh.  As I sat there digesting both dinner and the brief exchange, I checked in with myself and found it interesting how detached I was; detached from feeling anything, really.

  Having effectively ended that conversation thread, my mother ushered us all upstairs for cake and ice cream.  In the dining room, my sister-in-law approached me and quietly requested I step outside with her.  I knew what was coming but went anyway, saying as we went, “Don’t worry about it, honey.  It’s not a big deal.”  Great choice of words, right?  Of course right!

  Outside on the front step (stoop?) of my parents’ house, my sister-in-law said, “I’m sorry if I offended you.”

  “You didn’t,” I assured her.  She really hadn’t … as far as I could tell from my emotion-devoid space.

  “I want to tell you that you really made me think about why that bothered me,” she went on to say.  “Just because she’s huge doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a big heart.”

  “That’s true.  And thank you for saying that,” I responded.  Just as I typed this last snippet of conversation, I actually laughed out loud.  I mean, come on … what IS this??  What WAS that???  What the hell does THAT mean?????

  Translation: “Just because YOU’RE huge doesn’t mean YOU don’t have a big heart.”  Wow.  That’s the kind of judgement I’m getting from my own overweight sister-in-law and I’m worried about what strangers think?  I need to narrow my focus and start small; pun intended.

  Our little tete-a-tete ended with a hug (warm on her end, luke-warm on mine) and we went back inside to have cake and ice cream … well, my sister-in-law had cake and ice cream (“a very thin slice, please; I like salty more than I like sweet … just a little scoop to try”); I had a regular-sized piece of the devil’s food cake with chocolate icing my Mom had made – “no ice cream, thank you.”  I didn’t say, “I’m cutting back,” but it would have been fun to if I was of that mind!!

  So, this morning as I was eating my breakfast of turkey bacon (love it), scrambled eggs (made with water; cooked with EVOO – extra-virgin olive oil), a slice of whole grain wheat toast (dry), and coffee (cream only), I thought about what I could do “this time” to get myself back on track.  HA!  This time?  Let’s get real, Ellen:  to get on track, period.  I’ve been thinking alot about “going Atkins” again, because it’s very effective at melting off oodles of pounds with relative rapidity – at least in my case!  That was followed by the thought that once I’d gotten rid of some weight, I’d REALLY begin to exercise; probably start walking.  I thought about all this while I caught up on some DVR’ed programming, and while I cleaned up my breakfast dishes, and while I filled my hot pink water bottle with iced green tea to bring up to my office, and while I downloaded and responded to e-mails, and while I updated my website.  I’m always multi-tasking, especially when something is bothering me!  I mean, why would I just stop and focus on the issue at hand in order to – imagine! – deal with it?

  And, obviously, I’m still thinking about it, in a strangely detached way.  I’m still not FEELING anything; I’m not recognizing any feelings attached to what I’ve just strewn onto this blank page, at any rate.  The fact that I’m committing any of this to my blog, knowing that anyone can read it, is HUGE.  Enormous.  Ginormous.  Obese, even.

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